For as long as I can remember I’ve been wondering what we do on earth. Or more specific, what are my mission and my passion in life? Are they the same?? Not everyone seems to care, but I know if you’re reading this you do.
I was born in the countryside in the East of the Netherlands. People there don’t talk a lot, and certainly not about their feelings. Let alone be interested in your feelings.
I was a very sensitive girl and stil am as a woman. Yet, I didn’t know. Or didn’t want to know. I was so shy at school and in my teenage early years, that I decided not to be that anymore. Yep. You read that right, I didn’t want to be shy. I didn’t want to accept who I am and show that to the world. I wanted to be someone else. So, I did during the weekends. I started partying every week from the age of fifteen.
In school everything was as it had to be. I was normal. Good grades, not perfect, but also not bad. Pretty boring. I felt that I was not me at school, only on the weekend when I was the blond, slim, outgoing girl who was very flirtatious, I’d feel that this was me.
As a student my parents didn’t allow me to leave the house to study and live in another city. So, I went to a school not far from their house. I hated it. My coping mechanism—as you might have guessed was boys.
This couldn’t continue forever. I didn’t want it to. I begged my parents for weeks or months to leave home. I was 18 when I finally did. That changed everything. I started studying—ot yet what I really wanted—but at least I wasn’t living with my parents anymore.
And then it happened: I was in love. With what would be my boyfriend for seven years. It was what I needed after feeling like a toy for so many guys.
With his support I finally chose the study I felt I wanted to do: Political Science. I’m not sure I would choose the same today, probably not.
And there I was: in the heat of the fire of the progressive political party D66. Well, at least I thought it was. I learned pretty soon that a lot of people weren’t as idealistic as I was, but were in politics for themselves.
I’m still not sure what makes people change. It’s not the money in politics, at least not in the Netherlands, but it’s the status, power and attention that you get that has a deep impact on you.
It did on me too. I wasn’t me, but I didn’t know that yet.
My Tipping Point
That changed when I was following yoga teacher training. We’d talk about energy and grounding a lot, but I never really felt it. I went to a woman who worked with energy.
She held her hands above my head. and I felt strange. I felt a deep warmth inside me I had never felt before. It felt like home. I’d look into her deep blue eyes and she told me the story that changed my view on politicians and people—like me—who work in politics.
She asked me if I was shy as a kid and told me I probably was very sensitive. Me?! No, I didn’t think I was, but I kept listening. A lot of people build a wall around them when they are so sensitive. This wall helps to cope with all the energies that come towards you. It helps to keep the negative, or at the very least, the many different energies away.
But you also close yourself off. You close the gates of your own potential. You close the gates for others to come close to you. My gates were double locked, triple locked, and I didn’t have the key.
That’s where it all started. I sold my house, quit politics, started traveling for 14 months, started a company to help politicians become themselves, became a coach, did NLP, read many books, and entered the world of plant medicine.
Writing has always been a big part of my life. It’s my joy.
In my blog I’ll talk of everything I’ve learned in those years after politics. That’s why my story ends here and continues in all the stories on the blog. I love to share and I want to take the time to dive deep into all the different stuff I did—which is a lot!
Finally, I am proud to have created Femaleflame.org. The blog and platform for women who know deep down that there is more to life. I know how hard it is to figure out what you want in life when you don’t know where to look. I hope to inspire you to find your true power and your fire inside.
Or maybe you are feeling and living your full potential, to share each other’s stories and spread the love. To whoever is listening. Let’s do this together. Whenever you feel you want to reach out to me, please do.
Wish you all the best and hope to inspire you to the moon and back.
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“Life is a CIRCLE.
We are all with a mission on earth.
The aim is to figure out what YOUR MISSION is and to live that mission.”